The Bionic Sound Project

this girl’s journey to sound

It Doesn’t Change How I Like It…LOUD Thursday, February 1, 2007

After a few months of avoiding music because my brain was tired, graduating to playing at low volume, then listening to it through headphones, I finally realized something tonight.

No matter how deaf I am, if I have a cochlear implant or not, I’m always going to like my music loud.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t bode well for the poor souls that are within a five-mile radius of me, whether on the road or at home.

There is nothing like the feel of the bass pulsing through your body. The vibrations cascading down your back. The ripples of the sound as it skips around your ears, giving you a pleasant rush, leading you to the crescending high. Music is my drug. It’s an addiction that I can shake, but only for so long.

I just have to blast it, drench myself in sound. I have to feel it through every inch of my body. And tonight, I had the feeling of being reborn through the songs.

“4 My People (Basement Jaxx Remix Radio Edit)” – Missy Elliott
“Lazy (Original Mix) [feat. David Byrne]” – X-Press 2
“Young, Fresh N’ New (Timo Maas Remix)” – Kelis
“It’s Gonna Be…(A Lovely Day) [Bini&Martini Club Remix]” – Brancaccio&Aisher
“Shifter (Full Vocal Mix) [feat. MC Chickaboo]” – Timo Maas
“Salsoul Nugget (If You Wanna) [Extended Vocal Mix]” – Girl Next Door
“Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love, Then Why Does It Feel So Good) [Extended Vocal Mix]” – Spiller
“What A Girl Wants (Thunderpuss Dirty Club Mix)” – Christina Aguilera
“Freakin’ You” – Jungle Brothers
“Rendez-Vu” – Basement Jaxx
“Blue Skies (Deep Dish Blue Phunk Mix) [feat. Tori Amos]” – bt
“Lapdance (Paul Oakenfold Swordfish Mix)” – N.E.R.D.

The cochlear implant won’t change how I like my music. It does give me the ability to hear it when it’s faint, but it doesn’t have the same energy and intensity for me. I cannot deny who I am.

So! In the words of Nintendo’s Game Boy Campaign from the 1990s…“Play It Loud”. Rock on! \m/

And for the eardrums everywhere who hoped that the CI would make things quieter…I’m so very sorry.

p.s. If you’re familiar with any of those songs, and can think of more that I might enjoy, please share!


3 Responses to “It Doesn’t Change How I Like It…LOUD”

  1. Ian Says:

    On the bright side, you don’t have to worry about damaging your ears anymore (at least, not the implanted side – you’re still wearing an aid on one side, right?). I got scolded about that last time I saw my audi … oops.

  2. Ian Says:

    Er – that was supposed to be a question, and then I got distracted in mid-post. No worries about ear damage from volume with the CI, right? (Please let that be true!)

  3. Allison Says:

    Hey Ian!

    I’ve gotten scolded myself too, by my mom. The audiologist, I don’t remember.

    But back in high school, my senior year, I used to go to sleep every night listening to christina aguilera’s “christina aguilera”. I would jam the in-ear headphons in as far as I could, turn off the auto-volume reduction, and turn it all the way up. I would sometimes fall asleep with my fingers in my ears, just so I could hear the sound.

    My mom used to be concerned that it would damage what residual hearing I had left. She also worried about my listening to loud music, and ruining my hearing, since it was starting to ruin hers as well.

    I don’t know why I’m talking about listening to my music loud, when I do advocate the mission of the H.E.A.R. Project, and educate my friends to the dangers of music being played too loud.

    It’s hypocrisy, I know. But there’s just this feeling of when you’re already deaf, what difference is it going to make? You know what I mean?

    I’m even more behind it because The Who was my first favorite band (and the first CD that I actually purchased on my own – The Who’s Greatest Hits)

    I don’t know about ear damage from the volume with the CI. That’s a question I’d have to ask/do some research on it.

    I do know that if it’s too loud, it can be very painful, like being shocked in the head.

    I did read somewhere that there are some questions about the long term effects of electrical stimulation on an nerve, but I think it’s people just trying to find reasons why CIs should be outlawed.

    And yes, I’m still wearing my Siemens Triano SP hearing aid on my left ear. I maaaaaaaay get a second cochlear implant, but that’s going to have to wait till the FDA approves it, because insurance won’t cover it. I’m kind of half-and-half over getting two, but for now I’m happy with just one. I’m curious about the new ribbon implant however.

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