The Bionic Sound Project

this girl’s journey to sound

I Want To Go Bilateral Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Allison @ 5:52 pm

I think I have gotten to the point where I seriously want a second cochlear implant based on performance issues.

I hear so much more, especially DETAILS with the cochlear implant than I am with the hearing aid now. And lately, it’s starting to become unbalanced for me, and I don’t like that feeling of hearing out of one side of my head.

Probably need to reprogram my hearing aids. But if I get the Harmony, and it takes listening to a whole new level, where is it going to leave my hearing aid ear?

Wish I could go bilateral, but it’s not covered by insurance…yet. I think I may start looking into it. But it’s becoming a concern of mine now.

The difference between now and then was back then I was excited and wanted to have two cochlear implants, without regard to performance and a good length of time with it. Now I’m wanting two of them, from a performance and listening perspective.

The scary part about going bilateral would be that I would lose my residual hearing, and its nice to be able to hear the loud booms of things close to me, that I can’t hear with the CI ear (without it on). It comes in handy.

If there are any readers out there who have bilateral implants, how did you go about getting two of them? Was one out of pocket, or were both covered? Thanks so much.

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Frustrations With Being Deaf And At Work Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Mixed reaction to the new walkies we have at work. It works with my headphones (I haven’t tried the DirectConnect cable yet, but I know it will work). The issue is that I need a program that will work with it, and still hear ambient noise.

Switching back and forth between programs is a great way to drain out the battery, plus there’s an 8-second delay when switching programs. It should be better with the harmony due to the built in t-coil and extended battery life.

My frustration spilled over into the rest of the day, because once again, I was reminded how much I’m in-between worlds.

It’s so frustrating to be left out of conversation while working. Everybody’s yapping away, and I have no clue what’s going on, but I just keep on working. Or they’re laughing at something funny on the walkie, but of course I don’t know what was said. I go through the same situation with my friends, even my family (except my mom) and I just Get. Tired. Of. It.

I’m tired of being deaf, but functioning “like” a hearing person. Everybody forgets that as much as I blend in, I still don’t get everything. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to either be completely hearing or completely deaf. And sometimes I feel like I’m being taken for granted because I work so hard at not only making it easier for myself, but for other people as well. And I don’t get the same in return.

I know it’s unrealistic to expect the world to bend to meet my needs, or that the cochlear implant will magically solve all of my problems. I was aware of this when I was going through the screening process, and it’s not even been a full year since I’ve been activated. Gotta take it one step at a time.

But yeah, I was crying when I got home and talking to my mom about my day, because she’s really the only one here at home who gets how difficult it is for me, and how frustrated I get. It’s the stupidest thing to cry about, but I couldn’t help it. I tried to explain it to one of my co’s, but it’s still hard to put it in a way that people without the background can understand.

Had my back-to-school physical on Tuesday after work, and it was the first time I had to turn down a procedure due to the CI. My doctor wanted to do an MRI on my knee, because I’ve been having off-and-on problems for the last year or so, as a result from when I broke my ankle/cracked my leg/sprained my knee 2 years ago. That was weird, because it’s the first time that’s happened where I had to speak up and say “I can’t do that.” All I had was the vision from the episode of House where the metal shot out of the body and into the MRI, breaking it, except it was the side of my head.

 

July 16 and 19th…Harmony, Car Accidents, and Surgeries Monday, July 23, 2007

July 16th – two readers/their family members from this site had their surgeries! I hope they went well (I know one of them did!)

I finally got to order my harmony as well…but it’s going to take a 2-week turnaround to get it. At the rate Advanced Bionics is going with this, I won’t get it in the mail and activated till I return to school in September (which will make Mandy happy!)

July 19th – I hear a car accident for the first time with the cochlear implant. And from a block away. I was hanging out on the far side of the parking lot after work, talking to my boss as we usually do after every shift, when we hear this noise (which I didn’t know at first, but due to the expression on her face, I quickly figured it out). It sounded like a loud firecracker, due to the “boom!” that I heard. Pam says that the noise we first heard was probably the screech of the brakes, and then we looked up in time to hear the crash (she saw stuff flying through the air, I didn’t).

I was the first one to respond to the accident scene while Pam called 911 on her cell. It makes me sick that not one person who witnessed the accident stopped to help. The woman was bleeding, and her head hit the windshield, shattering it. To make the situation more interesting, the woman who hit her, left the scene and didn’t return till like 7 minutes later. I heard her car before I saw it, and was thinking “holy cow, somebody’s car really needs to go to the shop”. It was making clunking/chugging noises (half of the hood was smashed in).

I’ve never heard a car accident, not even with the hearing aid. I heard it distinctly with the cochlear implant, but my hearing aid did not pick it up at all. But Thursday was a really bad day overall (my friends/coworkers know why, and I thank everybody for their support and love).

Finally, I love meeting people with cochlear implants at work. It’s always fun to run into guests who have a cochlear implant, and then find out we have the same doctor. What I like more is hearing their stories about their implant experiences, especially if they’ve gone bilateral. 🙂

WE GET THE NEW WALKIES TOMORROW (TUESDAY) AT WORK! Must bring my various cables so I can plug it in directly into my cochlear implant and find out which one works the best…that’s going to be a fun experiment…I can’t wait! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

I finally uploaded a video clip of me playing the piano – “The Gypsy Baron” by Johann Strauss. I’m still working on finding my other audio clips of my piano playing…or rerecording them as a video, but I’m out of practice, my piano needs to be tuned, and the humidity makes one of the major keys stick.

 

Those Beeps And Those Birds Thursday, July 12, 2007

The more time I spend at work, the more I’m amazed by the sounds that I can hear with the cochlear implant.

For one, the registers are so loud. You can hear the beeps halfway across the store. I can hear the beeps of the register as far back as Infants. The odd thing is, when I used to be up front as a cashier, it didn’t seem that loud. But to get to infants, you have to walk through girls, boys, then half of infants. The screech and squeaks of the cart wheels. And the kids, and some of the “interactive” toys that we have. I’m not even going to get started on that topic.

I spent a good bit of time this morning listening to my fellow teammates frequently asking my team lead questions via the walkie. “i need more gray dots.” “i’m done with ____. what do you want me to do next?” “okay, i need you to go over to ____.” “what’s your location?”. I was amused, yet surprised by how much my team lead gets interrupted by people all day.

Not to mention I accidentally locked my keys in my car when I got to work this morning. I had to call my mom but I had to put it on speakerphone, and had a short conversation with her, as I was heading in the door. I really need to find a phone that will actually work with the cochlear implant and the hearing aid, and still have the same functions as the sidekick (email/qwerty keyboard), yet not have the whole world hear the conversation.

Yesterday, I hung out with Jenni, and I got to play with her birds. It’s the first time that I’ve been around birds since I’ve gotten the CI (except for this spring).

It was interesting to note the difference between listening to her bird speak with the hearing aid versus the CI. Obviously, you can’t lipread a bird, but the CI allows you to hear what the speech sounds the bird is trying to make and comprehend them. It was an…unusual experience in terms of listening practice. And technically, she wasn’t a good one to listen to, because Jenni says that Harley mumbles.

In the words of Harley: “ha-ha, ha-ha”

 

One Year Anniversary Of My Cochlear Implant Surgery! Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Allison @ 7:42 pm

Today is my one-year anniversary of getting the cochlear implant!

Hard to believe that one year has passed. last summer i couldn’t fathom the thought of actually making it through one year.

Now that I’ve hit the one-year mark, it almost seems unreal.

I look back to my posts and remember when I was so scared of getting the CI, I almost backed out of it. Finally, 10 hours before surgery, I talk about taking a leap of faith. The actual surgery day…my first post after coming out of surgery…and the two days afterwards…which was quite an experience in of itself

Then there were the weeks afterwards where I was getting used to having a metal/silicone object under the skin, nestled into the hollowed out bone, a foreign object that didn’t belong there. Of learning to sleep on opposite side that I don’t sleep on. Of learning how to re-walk and deal with the dizziness (until this was corrected by the second surgery, 9 days later).

There are times where I am still not used to having this on the side of my head. People who touch the side of my head (I give them the opportunity to) usually have a reaction of “OMG” and jerk their hands away. Then they’re curious and want to touch it again, now that they know what they’re touching. I got that reaction today from my team lead, and last week, from one of my coworkers.

Then there comes activation day…which I’m going to save for August 7th. 🙂

If you’re that curious for a trip down memory lane, check out the posts from June, July, and August 2006.

 

Walkie-Talkie Log and The Harmony Monday, July 9, 2007

walkie-talkie log of things i can understand: numbers, locations (depending on who’s speaking, some names, basic phrases (the company sayings are starting to become etched in my hearing memory!), and voice identification (if i’m paying attention).

yeah, it’s good practice for me to listen to what’s being said, but the problem is, that I’m a lower priority than as compared to those who can actually hear and fully benefit from the use of the walkie. That’s the part I feel guilty about…because resources are limited. And when I’m out there, I don’t like to have it up all the way, because it’s too loud and it competes with the noise in the store. But it’s useful for me, because I don’t have to run all over to find somebody with a walkie, and can request or ask for help.

It would be nice if people were able to understand that I can (usually) have a conversation with them over the walkie, IF I initiate the conversation (I’m sure Mom and Mandy would beg to differ. :-p). Otherwise, trying to get ahold of me is not the best way. I’ve always preferred face-to-face communication instead, especially if directions are to be given.

That being said, I haven’t been practicing my listening as much as I should have, despite the fact that I’m back home in an all-hearing environment. Go figure.

Just a few more days and then I can order the Harmony. Then I have to set up an appointment with Megan to get it programmed, and catch Mandy so she can listen in via cell (she wants to do it so badly!)