Back…and going to be wearing my CI for the first time since….last spring, really.
Correction, I’ve made a few attempts to wear it over the summer, and most recently, in January, when I had a dinner date. I wanted to be able to have a conversation in a loud restaurant, with a person who was hearing and did not know sign language.
It was a disaster. The sound kept cutting in and out. I kept adjusting it. Finally, I sat with my hand over the magnet, elbow on the table, wondering if it was my hair that was causing it to possibly slip off, or if it wasn’t strong enough.
Finally I just ripped the processor off my head in frustration, and said “to heck with it.” First, having surgery twice. Then the rashes/redness, the itching, not being able to see Mandy, and now the processor wasn’t working properly. What else was going to go wrong? Maybe I was just not meant to have a cochlear implant.
In short, I gave up. Nobody seemed to care, so I stopped caring. Course, other things were going on in my life at the same time which didn’t help the situation. Lack of support from the people I needed and craved it the most was one.
After several trips home visiting family, and fights with my mom over my lack of using the CI,her disappointment with me for not wearing it, and the fact that I hear much better with the CI, than with just the hearing aid alone.
Graduation looms in 7 weeks. So time is running out. So I took action.
I made an appointment today, and was able to get in and see Catherine tomorrow. I’m not able to see Mandy, as she’s had no room for me for the last year. I’ll be working with Laurie next, starting on Monday, to ease myself back into this whole CI thing.
Let’s see how it goes.
edit: the correction is that my mom was upset with me because she felt like I was not wearing my CI because I didn’t want to, not because of the issues I was having. If I had made an effort to resolve the problem, with no luck, and then finally made the decision that it was not worth pursuing anymore, then that would be a different story.