Today, I had a really low tolerance for sound. People’s voices were driving me nuts. My tolerance level was probably not helped by the ADHD, as we’re adjusting medication doses for me.
Just sitting in class and listening to people talk, some voices were gravelly, and others were scratchy. It was the equivalent of what I would imagine to be nails scratching on a blackboard resonating through my head, and I just wanted to shut the sound out and have quiet.
This afternoon, I had my hardest therapy session to date, due to our activity that Mandy had today, and the new subject content. But first, I was glad I was able to vent my concerns and frustrations with the whole Gallaudet protest to Mandy, because she understands where I’m coming from. I know my friends and family mean well and want to understand, but I feel like they don’t understand why people are upset over it and the significance of the protest for the deaf/Deaf community.
Nor do they understand how I feel being an oral-deaf, mainstreamed kid, and the viewpoints/attitude of the Deaf community that have been stirred up by this recent debate about audism/deafism, and are being somewhat slowly translated over here to this campus, that it’s starting to become more visible of an issue now.
Basically, whatever the outcome of this is, it will have an effect on the intercultural relationships between people in the deaf community, and are best expressed in Allison Kaftan’s post The Worst Thing To Come Out Of This Mess. Fernandes may have brought it up, but the fact remains that that unspoken charge and hostility has and always has been an undercurrent within the community. She just put a name to it.
Anyway, therapy today, Mandy gave me clues to words in a crossword puzzle, but they were related to Halloween. These aren’t common phrases and sentences, so it was a bit of a struggle. That, and I think my brain was being cantankerous today.
Mandy noticed that with me, I am able to reproduce what the given sentence sounded like to me, but it doesn’t make sense. She said that it reminds her of the game Mad Gab.
Here’s an example of what a sentence to me sounds like to me with the CI, and without lipreading or any support.
Hears: A klute toothy puss hull.
Actual: A clue to the puzzle.
The key is in trying to make my brain put the sounds together to form words that make sense when put together.
In the morning, I had a headache while in the ESP lab during our class demo, and having to sit on the floor and look up at the interpreter. So I just stopped paying attention because the strain on my neck plus the lighting and low noise tolerance was too much. I spent some time just listening to my teacher talk, and picking up words here and there.
It’s still a world of garble and gibberish, but the fact I’m able to pick up a few words here and there, makes me pleased.