Today I went back to see Megan (less than 24 hours after I had my first mapping session!) to fix some things that were going on with my implant.
I told her about how I emotionally fell apart last night, right after we got home. Both Megan and Kim reassured me that it’s normal to react strongly, and that I’m not the only one who has fallen apart after getting activated. That, and I think the stress of everything since June (mom’s back surgery, my two surgeries, etc.) finally caught up with me. They also told me that other patients were unhappy from anywhere between 1 week to 6 months before they finally liked the way the implant sounded. I also talked about how I felt like I had a radio playing in my head after I took the implant off, and she thinks I may be hearing phantom noises.
They also said that I could come in tomorrow, Thursday, or Friday if I needed to, and we could play around with the implant some more. I felt bad because I didn’t want to take up all their time, because they have other things to do, only to be told “No no no. You’re not taking up our time. We are here to help you and we want you to do well. In fact, our favorite thing to do is Cochlear Implants! So don’t feel bad! And we’re free most of this week.”
Megan started off with trying to eliminate the problem with the “shocking” sensations I was having. We turned off each electrode to see if the shocking would go away, and if things sounded better, and going back and forth. Eventually we turned off electrodes 1, 4, and 8. Electrode 1 sometimes happen because it’s the very first one to enter into the cochlea, and sometimes it’s too deep to provide stimulation. Electrode 4 we don’t know why but we will try again in a few days or weeks. And Electrode 8 was not a surprise to her, because it is right next to where the doctor drilled the hole for the implant, and he did have to drill it 1mm wider 2 weeks ago. She had trouble with getting a response from it in surgery, due to a gigantic air bubble that was present. Hopefully it will clear up soon so we can put it into use.
The volume was also turned waaaaaaaaaay down, and the threshold levels were also lowered. I went up too high too fast with the electrodes, (but it sounded great yesterday!) and when I got into the real world (which is completely different from the quiet and calm of an audiologist booth), I was overwhelmed and getting painfully shocked to the max. My ears are power-hungry and have always been, because they’ve had power Hearing Aids for their entire listening life. Mandy (the audiologist at school) also told me this as well, because I kept wanting “more power!” Kim and Megan talked about how I may not need as much power with this to “listen” because more power = more distortion. We also got rid of all the static that I was hearing with the implant.
Megan also did some more of the words that we used yesterday to see if I could understand them. I’m doing better today, and starting to hear more of the differences in sound (like ‘ch’ in March). Identification is still spotty, but it was better than yesterday. I’m also starting to feel the “sounds” moving around in my head, instead of just on the top of my head…sometimes I “hear” it in my left ear, or on the back of the left-side of the head.
In addition to the fine-tuning, I got new processing strategies/programs today.
The first program is the one I started off with, just a little bit louder (after all of today’s adjustments were done). It’s a “sequential” program, which sends the information like playing scales/chords on a piano. She told me that most people tend to stick with the very first processing strategy that they start off with after activation.
The second program is a “pulse” program, which sends information like chopsticks on a piano. The third program I think is the same as the first program (but I’m not sure how it’s different), but it sounded the most like my hearing aids to me, and I liked this one the best (at the moment). At this point, I need to keep my hearing aid off for awhile, because my hearing aid is “overpowering” the implant (even after I turned the volume down as low as it could go), and I’m focused more on listening with the ear that I can hear more with.
Megan also gave me some information for my friends, so everybody can try to calm down (including me!) and understand how the implant is going to work, and the process of understanding sound, because we’re all excited about it, and that excitement is causing to have a little bit of too high expectations (especially in me). I love you guys very much, but we need to step back and take baby steps.
I also have a xeroxed listening journal and it’s so cute. It has a “listening scavenger hunt” in which I can write down when I first heard a specific sound on the list, and when I first am able to identify it on my own. It’s almost like a baby’s 1st… kind of book.
After that, I left all happy and relieved because I wasn’t being shocked in the head anymore, and because it sounded much better now. I was writing down the times into my sidekick, when I got an email from Mandy (my school audiologist) who wanted to see what was going on and how activation went (since I hadn’t talked to her since surgery #2). Then Dr. M came out of his office just right before I went out the door, and looked surprised to see me there. On the way home, I listened to Christina Aguilera’s first CD, and couldn’t hear “Genie In A Bottle” but I was getting some of her voice in “So Emotional” and “Reflection”, and the first part of “Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)”. I can’t really hear the music at all, but the vocal part is what I’m hearing (sometimes).
When Mom came home, I updated her on everything, and she went over the months again with me, and she was happy because I was able to hear the ‘ch’ in March. I’m having trouble with March/May/June, and the J and F in January/February, but I can hear “uary”. She repeated one word that I’ve always said wrong (without telling me), and covered her mouth, and I was able to say it back to her correctly on the first try, which I’ve always said incorrectly.
Right now, I’ve been attending to the job of listening with each program for a few hours, and keep track of information about how it sounded and differences with each program. I’ve been listening to National Public Radio (suggested for practice) for most of the afternoon, and it’s mostly just pulses on the top of my head (I think my brain is getting tired), but I do pick up a part of speech now and then. I only seem to hear speech when it’s up close to me. Background noises exist as a pulse on the top of my head.
But right now my hearing life is basically pulses. A few speech sounds here and there, but that’s it. It’s good enough for me for the 2nd day. I am happy.
The Bionic Sound Project 